Influencing people positively is a skill that requires a deep understanding of human nature and a genuine desire to help others grow and succeed. The process starts with influencing ‘self’. Only after you guide and teach yourself, can you guide and help others. This blog explores various strategies and insights for positively influencing those around you.
Understand Yourself and Others
Know yourself. Your behaviors, interests, and values shape how you interact with others. Reflect on the value you want to deliver to help people grow and achieve their goals. Bring balance to your communications. Avoid being caught up in threatening emotions like anger and overdone emotions like pity. Keep your ego in check; it’s not about you, but about the value you can bring to others.
Approach with Empathy and Curiosity
Instead of offering unsolicited or generic advice, focus on understanding others. Ask meaningful questions and listen intently. Behavioural scientists have established that we are naturally inclined to respond swiftly to changes, as these changes might pose potential threats. This instinctive reaction often brings resistance to change. It’s important to recognize that what appears harmless or insignificant to you could be perceived as unsettling or even alarming to others. This understanding calls for a heightened sense of empathy and consideration when introducing or dealing with change. Your approach should be considerate, especially when others are stressed or emotionally charged. Yes, there will on occasion be urgent situations where negative emotions become strained. Do your best to anticipate these situations rather than blunder into them.
Recognize Individuality and Bias
People are unique, with different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. Acknowledge this diversity and be aware of your own biases. Avoid assuming others are like you. Embrace both similarities and differences. Know people’s strengths and weaknesses. Help people develop their strengths. Help people find solutions to their weaknesses.
Body Language and Comfort
Pay attention to body language. It often speaks louder than words and can guide you to adjust your approach, making others feel more at ease. Comfort leads to openness, which is essential for positive influence. Consider: change is only constructive when people are comfortable. While there is an accurate argument that discomfort and discontent bring change – innovations and creative paradigms – more often than not discomfort results in freezing, fleeing, or fighting [our natural ‘genetic’ responses to potential threats]. When people get beyond these self-protection hurdles, they are comfortable and able to accept change and build new habits.
Foster Good Habits
Encourage the development of good habits that align with long-term goals. Be aware that bad habits often serve short-term desires and can be counterproductive. To generate positive changes – changes for the better – guide, mentor, and help others overcome their natural inertia.
Set Realistic Expectations
Setting the bar for others requires balanced thinking and expectations. Help people aim high enough to encourage growth but not so high that it becomes discouraging. Help them stretch upward….but remember, when stretching upward we must overcome gravity. Celebrate small victories and appreciate the journey towards improvement.
Be Authentic and Genuine
Authenticity is key. Dale Carnegie advised, be hearty in approbation and lavish in praise. While that approach is heading in a positive direction, overdone celebrations will put people off. Keep celebrations and rewards genuine, fitting your personality, the situation, and the person you are helping. Your sincerity in celebrating others’ successes will be more impactful than hollow compliments.
Conclusion
Influencing others positively is a blend of understanding, empathy, and genuine intent to bring value to others. It’s about helping others grow while respecting their individuality and being attentive to their circumstances. By adopting these approaches, you can become a catalyst for positive change and a mentor who genuinely enjoys and learns from the success of others. Yes, as you help others grow you will be on a lifelong self-growth journey. Your goal is not just to influence others but to do so in a way that is respectful, empowering, and genuinely beneficial.